Letters to My Former Single Self

Linking up with Lisette over at Northern Belle Diaries for "Letters to My Former Single Self."

What did you think about dating and relationships when you were little? 
 What do you think of them now?

 Dear Kimberly Rose,

This is your 23-year old self writing to you about life in college and expectations that you had as a little girl about love and being in a committed relationship.  You didn't date much in high school because your parents held a tight leash, and that will be both good and bad.  It was good in the sense that they were good, loving and responsible parents.  It will be bad though in the sense that once you're in college, you don't really know how to date college boys.  I know it sounds silly, but college will be one amazing adventure and the relationships will be fleeting.

Disney cruise with my family when I was in high school

When you were a little girl, you pictured marrying a great guy and your imagination would run wild with all the adventures you two would have together; from getting married, to traveling the world, getting a house, and as you rocked your Bitty Baby, Anna, and American Girl doll Samantha, you pictured what it might like to have a family as well.  You also grew up in a very Catholic family and although you might not agree with all concepts around it, it did give you the belief to hold off on sex and that is a good thing.  The guys you meet in college will be everything you imagined, smart, talented and very handsome.  However, just keep in mind that sometimes they're just trying to have a good time, even if it's at the detriment of others.

College Kimmie before a fundraising charity event

You will love getting dressed up for philanthropy events, socials, and parties.  You will also love meeting people at these events and a lot of cute boys.  Have fun, but realize that's all that they are there to do.  Most of them love living a life that could rival Total Frat Move and they think you're pretty and smart, but at the end of the day, they don't want a girlfriend.  That's just a life lesson you'll have to learn.  Boys are cheats and liars, they're such a big disgrace, they will tell you anything to get to second...baseball, baseball, he thinks he's gonna score...

You're going to have a few serious boyfriends, one during the start of the freshman year of college, one during the start of sophomore year, and then finally you'll meet Ryan.  In-between you will be in casual relationships with a couple other guys, in which you think it will develop into something more, but be honest with yourself in each of those relationships.  You and those boys did not have enough in common to string a relationship between your academic goals and future career aspirations.  That's ok.  Part of me wants to tell you to say "f*** off" to the guys that broke your heart (before they have the opportunity to, of course) but a heartbreak is a valuable lesson learned.  I would recommend not starting college with a boyfriend.  You're not the only one who did this.  As an RA, you saw your residents come in with significant others and within a few months, almost all of them break-up.  It's just not a good time in your life.  The guy you meet the second semester of your freshman year is charming, but totally not worth your time or energy.  The following summer after, you're going to date a guy from your hometown who is going to break your heart.  You are going to fall into what you think is love, but it's a short-lived romance.  He will tell you that he wants to marry you and when you're with him everything makes sense.  When he breaks your heart, it hurts so badly that you both attempt getting back together three times.  Honey, it's just not going to work.  It will throw you into a type of sadness where you end up casually dating a guy that Fall, who you think you can rely on and is a good person.  He will introduce you to the stereotypical frat boy mentality and he's a piece of shit.  You can do without him and later on in life, he'll be one of those college guys.  You make up your mind that while becoming an Air Force officer, there will be few men who would choose to follow you around for your career, so you become lax in your expectations of dating with the assumption that you'll probably end up marrying another officer in the Air Force.  I would tell you not to get so discouraged and to enjoy the time you have while being young.  One of your best-friend's mommas, Ruth, will tell you that when you work on making yourself happy, other people see that.  Happy people attract other happy people.  It's something you will continue to work on for the rest of your college experience.

During Thanksgiving break of your junior year, your friend Ryan is going to message you on Facebook while he is deployed in Afghanistan.  For the first time in a long time, you're enjoying real, genuine conversations with a guy and you'll have a great time talking via Facebook chat (ahh technology).  When he comes home from his first deployment, you'll have the opportunity to spend a lot of time with him while he's on leave and you'll fall madly in love.  He is an amazing man and you're going to marry him the very next year.  He loves you, takes care of, and is incredibly honest with you.

 

Love and romance can sometimes be a fairytale, but it is very hard work.  It involves honest communication and looking out for your partner above all else.  It involves sacrifice and understanding that you're not just looking out for yourself but for your family.  Your mil-to-mil marriage will take you from Wisconsin to California and to Montana.  It will leave you far from your family and you will miss them greatly and that's why you have your best-friend and life partner with you.  You won't want to do everything together, but you will learn to enjoy the simplest aspects of life together.
 

Thanks for Reading!