Things that Freak Me Out About Marriage

As I was scrolling through Pinterest, I saw several posts from Redbook about "things every man is afraid of when it comes to marriage." Each one of these pins featured a different fear and while sometimes some of these lists and organized thought articles can be redundant, I actually really related to the topic. I'm at the point in my life where I am married and I think I've been out of cloud 9 for a while, if I was even there at all. Ryan and I started off our marriage into the depths of the military and spent most our first year (aka the honeymoon stage) separated by entire continents due to a deployment. This past year was the first in three that we lived together and had to work to together on a relatively daily basis.

To say that my marriage is difficult would be undermining everyone else's marriage. Marriage is difficult...for everyone. I have a few friends who seem to pull it off flawlessly but for us mere mortals, our sins and daily gripes bring us down to a level of normalcy that makes pulling off a relationship like marriage, a daily struggle.

So I thought I would put together a few thoughts on things that freak me out about marriage and my future. If you're married or are in a long-term relationship, you may share these thoughts or maybe I'm pulling something straight outta left field, but I think this is an important conversation because it reminds myself and others that marriage is hard work and is not meant to be easy.

I put too much pressure on my spouse to be my prince-charming.

I worry that I have too high of expectations on my husband. If you know me, I have a high energy-high enthusiasm type of personality. Give me a project and I'll run with it. However, for Ryan, it's a different story. Thinking creatively and romantically for him is a struggle and sometimes I wonder if my idea of romance is just well, too much. Which brings me to my next "fear."

That I will never have the type of marriage that I pictured.

 

Not gonna lie, my marriage is not the type of marriage I pictured back in the day. Not even so much "back in the day" but even recently, in my college years. I didn't picture us owning a mansion with expensive cars. No, I pictured a better flow of communication and small acts of kindness and romance. I didn't picture fights over folding laundry and who is obsessing over something a little too much. My picture of marriage included more spontaneity and less gaining weight. Ryan has managed to stay pretty fit while I struggle to cut back on weight that I gained after becoming a missileer. I also definitely pictured more vacations and romantic trips. Now that may have been less than realistic but our last vacation was a short drive to Pasadena to see the Rose Bowl for a three day trip, last year. Marriage isn't quite as romantic as I pictured it and you cut back on things to save money and to be realistic, but until you're in that lifestyle, I don't think I could have really understood what that was like.

We'll never have kids.

 

I worry about this a lot. Ryan and I both want to have kids but now is not good timing for us. I think it's pretty typical in the missileer careerfield for female missileers to wait until they're captains to have a baby. I'm not even a first lieutenant yet. The timing isn't ideal and Ryan hasn't finished his Bachelor's Degree. While timing is an issue, I worry about physically carrying babies as well. My mom, in her early 30s, developed cysts on her ovaries and had to have surgery to have her uterus removed. That's intense stuff.  Plus with being a lieutenant, my code-55 isn't supposed to end until I'm around 28...maybe 27.  It's getting close to that age and I worry about those health concerns.

I also worry that we'll get to a point where I become so focused on my career and projects that having kids gets put on the back burner forever.  I hope this doesn't happen but it's very possible.

We end in the big D

 

With the high rate of divorce in our country and how divorce affects everyone's lives, it's definitely come up once or twice.  Before Ryan and I got married, we took divorce off of the table. We said, "we're gonna make this work."  Since then there have been a handful of times where I was certain we would get a divorce. It's definitely no laughing matter but it's come up.  Those brutally awful fights where you're looking at the other person and thinking, "how is this ever going to work?"  Well fortunately it has and lots of apologies and tears have been shared.  But I also don't think our society makes it easier on us to stick it through.  When I'm exhausted from work and desperately need a vacation, I do think about how if I was single I'd probably be in the Dominican Republic on a beach somewhere.  It does cross my mind and I'm not going to pretend it doesn't.  It also comes across my mind how I would probably be less stressed in only having to communicate with female roommates and have a way better closet filled with awesome clothes.  It happens.

But what snaps me out of it is how proud I am of our marriage.  Every day we beat the odds, one day at a time.  Some days are really good and some are pretty awful, but we get through it.

What are some things that totally freak you our or worry you about your relationship?

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Deal Breakers When I Was Single

Picture Source on Pinterest

Heather Lindsey's vlog post reminded me of many of my own "deal breakers" that I established when I was single.  I always felt like my deal breakers were adjusting, which is literally breaking the deal despite having those blocks.  

I loved God so much throughout my college experience but I struggled with the idea of finding a church home and experiencing and exploring my religion.  I grew up Catholic but I don't necessarily like Catholic mass so I explored a couple other sects of Christianity and I think all of them have things that I may or may not like but many of them share great commonalities.  I so wished that I had a stronger faith during the time of college because I think it would have helped me establish how I approached relationships.  

I loved how Heather described her experience because we had a pretty similar perspective on how our college experiences went.  God has a plan for our lives but I was constantly pushing it, rushing it, and trying to create my own experience instead of working on my faith, making myself happy, and being a better person.  Instead I felt like I was using "tricks" of sorts and those usually revolved around my looks, tight clothes, dancing, flirting and alcohol.  None of which are the pillars for a strong foundation when it comes to a relationship.  Due to that I found relationships that fulfilled a temporary need. 

Despite having wavering "deal breakers," they usually won out in the end and here they are:

1. He must have a purpose with his life. He needs to have goals, ambitions, and dreams.

The amazing thing about college is that you are surrounded by people who are working so hard towards their dreams.  It's literally such a privilege to watch because you have people from various backgrounds literally living the American dream.  When it's 2 am and you're finishing a paper, it may not feel like it but you're living through an education and becoming a more intelligent human being.  I loved college solely for the idea of having opportunities every where you turned.  Due to this, I think this first deal breaker was pretty easy to have in place because every guy that I knew, whether romantically or as friends had dreams and ambitions.  We all did and it's pretty cool to see them lived out.

Picture Source from Pinterest

2. Be a man of not just his word, but also of his actions.

If a man says he's going to do something, then he needs to follow through with his commitments.  I think this is really difficult for young men these days.  It's so much easier to just be flakey and then blame it on your friend, your girlfriend, or some girl being too clingy or too needy or simply asking too much.  I think there is a true art in being someone of your word and following through with your actions.  I actually got to see this in action where I was wavering in my decision to see a relationship through for a longer period of time or just drop it.  It was through his decisions that he accidentally left me to walk 45 minutes home by myself around 1 or 2 am.  I ran into a group of guys, which was terrifying at the time, but turned out to be Navy ROTC boys who walked me home instead.  The guys didn't know me but they were gentlemen who walked me home and bought me a Shamrock Shake.  If people that I just met were able to follow through on that, yet someone who I was "seeing" couldn't do that- there's a problem.

3. He is a kind man with a kind heart.

One of the things that I love most about Ryan is that he has the potential to love so many things in his life and he truly has such a good heart.  I know that he is going to be a great dad one day because of how he treats others and the fact that he already has certain ambitions to be a great dad. 

Picture Sourced from Pinterest

4. A man who makes me feel safe.

With the second deal breaker, I obviously did not feel safe in that situation and that also applies to this one.  If I don't feel safe with you or you purposely put me in a dangerous situation, we absolutely would not have worked.  Ryan not only physically makes me safe with his military experience and gun knowledge, but through his household planning.  Ryan is incredibly financially responsible and he plans ahead and creates a budget so that we can not only live very comfortably, but also have fun.

5. Someone who I'm attracted to.

Lindsey brought this up as well and although some people make think it's shallow, it was important to me.  I wanted to be physically attracted to whomever I was dating.  He had to have that spark.  Not just looks, but he also had to make me laugh and have someone who was just fun to be around.  If someone was devilishly handsome and charming, but didn't make me feel safe or didn't cause me to think, it never worked out.  However, on the same end if someone was brilliant but didn't fulfill any of those other areas, I had a really hard time finding myself attracted to him.

Those were probably my most basic deal breakers, however, did you have deal breakers later on that you wish you had when you were younger?  Well that's tomorrow's post... :)

 

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Now Dating a College Freshman

We had the wonderful opportunity to celebrate the last day before classes started at our friend, Jeff's birthday.  A delicious BBQ, yummy birthday cake, and some brew with friends were perfect ways to top off the day.  We ran through a rainstorm with heavy winds (yikes) with our friends Hannah and Anthony.  Ryan was upset to have left the party early, so I was really glad that our friend Troy invited him over to continue the end-of-the-summer festivities.

Ryan was really excited to meet other Wisconsinites at the party.  That's one really great aspect of military life- seeing other people from your home state. I get excited when I meet people from Wisconsin or even Minnesota and a Wisconsin license plate makes my heart go all a'flutter.

 The next day was the first day of classes for a lot of students, whether it be Kindergarten or the start to a college degree.  Although I was content with sleeping in the next morning, I definitely wanted to snap some pictures of the new college freshman in our household...my husband!
Also take note that he's rocking a Badger tee, even though he's going to school in Montana.
#bleedredandwhite

 After four years in the Marine Corps, Ryan is taking advantage of the G.I. Bill and going to school in the town that we now live in.  I think he's interested in becoming a high school teacher, but for now he's tackling his gen eds.  I'm particularly excited about his creative writing class and how it's focusing a lot on poetry.  Maybe I'll get some love poems out of this gig ;)

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If Ryan and I were LEGO figures...

While I was on alert, I thought it would be a lot of fun to kind of do another post on where we're at with our marriage.  Ryan and I have been married for over two years (2.5) and are going through some pretty major phases in our life together.  I have graduated college, been commissioned as an officer, completed my tech training, and we now live in Montana.  Ryan has finished four years with the Marine Corps, has completed a civilian job working as a gun retailer, and now he is starting college.  So I e-mailed him some questions and we actually kind of made a game with it with our friends the other night.  We know a lot of young, married couples due to our military background and it was fun to see what their responses were. 

1. Where are you in your life?
We're now living in Montana in a really great house.  We have two German Shepherds, Holly and Blu.  Blu is having incontinence issues, which can be very frustrating at times.  Ryan has just started his college career and it's fun seeing his accomplishments through academic fields.  I'm adjusting pretty well to my job, and I'm adjusting to living in Montana.  Right now I'm also accomplishing my Master's Degree.

2. What is the thing that surprised you most about marriage?
There are several aspects that are really not very exciting.  I think while you're growing up, influencing factors come into play due to how impressionable media, magazines, Disney, and social media outlets like Pinterest can be on a young person.  I definitely thought marriage was a lot more exciting that it really is (or at least in my marriage). It's really just the day-to-day stuff and balancing responsibilities such as being an Air Force officer and paying bills.  You have to make things romantic and take the time to pay attention to your partner's needs.  You think this would be obvious but it's easy to get wrapped up in your job, school, etc.

3. What are the best parts of your marriage right now?
We're definitely learning how to communicate more effectively with one another and what buttons not to push.  I can recognize the areas that I need to improve upon and hopefully this will help make our marriage more cohesive.  Being in a better rhythm with our day-to-day has made it easier to being better partners.

4. What are the areas of improvement?
My area of improvement is a definite need to respond better to what Ryan needs.  My husband is very devoted to organization and keeping a clean house.  If he's got his mind set on something, it kind of needs to be done right away or it stresses him out.  If you know me, this is so completely not like me whatsoever.  Whenever he asks me to do something, I try to get to it right away to kind of help him with his love language.  His area of improvement would be patience and being more romantic.  It's very obvious that I married a Marine.  He's very disciplined but sometimes he forgets that I'm not a PFC and I'm actually his wife.  His personality has definitely helped me curb my expectations on how being realistic with romance expectations.  It's important to keep in mind that if I don't express what I'm looking for, then he can't possibly know.

5. How has your partner changed?

I have changed basically due to our lifestyle.  I'm not crafting as much as I used to and I get stressed a lot more easily in regards to my job.  I realized certain aspects of my personality weren't changing for the good and I kind of addressed that in this post, Practically Imperfect in Every Way or My Flaws Through the Use of GIFs. It's really important to me that I stay optimistic and see the beauty in our everyday lives here.  Montana is a beautiful place, maybe not Great Falls, but the state is really pretty. There are certain opportunities that I need to take advantage of because I won't experience it anywhere else.  I'm also trying to make sure that I don't let myself go and actually put together outfits instead of living in workout shorts (I love being comfy).  Ryan has changed in terms of how he reacts in a relationship.  I think having that long distance relationship aspect played a major part in our relationship dynamic.  When I went to see him, he definitely made an effort at being more engaged in activities and being more romantic.  We lived in the moment because it was always uncertain the next time we would see each other. 

6. What do you love about your partner?

I love that Ryan is very honest and loyal.  I feel safe with him and even though he's 22-years old, he always amazes me with his maturity and how much responsibility he has held in his life.  Ryan always takes care of me, no matter what and he definitely pays attention to my body language, regardless if I say anything. 

7. What is the most stressful aspect of marriage right now?

We both said the same thing- money.  Paying off school loans, car loans, vet bills for Blu, and any other bill that comes across our way definitely takes a toll on our budget.  We do have a strict budget, so it just isn't possible for us to go out on a lot of date nights.  Ryan's strictly a student right now and  I'm working on my Master's Degree and my job, so it's really just my source of income.  This limits us to one date night per paycheck and sometimes that gets sucked into one of Blu's vet bills.  Our dog, Blu, has incontinence and a heart murmur.  The incontinence is probably the worst because money goes to not only the vet, but also into cleaning supplies and we also just bought a carpet shampoo vacuum.  It's not ideal but it's what we're working with.  

8. What are some of your goals?

I really can't wait to pay off loans! We have one of our cars paid off and we're thinking of trading the other one in to get an SUV.  School loans take a lot out of every paycheck I have and I can't wait for a promotion.  We're also trying to plan ahead so we can have kids, but that probably won't happen for another 3-4 years.

9. How do you see yourself improving as a partner?

Responding to Ryan is really my main priority. I don't have an innate way of just thinking, "hey I should vacuum." It's really not something that comes to me naturally.  This really frustrates Ryan, so I'm working on thinking ahead and recognizing that by accomplishing x, y, and z, this will help alleviate Ryan's stress and the things that burden his part of our life.  Ryan is working on trying not to get as irritated (addressed above that he needs to be more patient).

That's basically it :) There were a couple more questions but they dive more into some of the questions already asked.  If you're in a relationship, how would you have responded to these questions?

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I Got Married at 21 When Everyone Else Was Getting Chocolate Wasted

Our first New Years where he wasn't deployed and he falls asleep...so this is what happened #marriedlife

While perusing through the blog posts of Avoiding Atrophy, I came across a post called Progressively Married at Twenty-Two.  Shock and surprise, I got married at 21 and I immediately clicked on that link to read more.  I totally understood what she covered in every aspect of her post.  One part particularly resonated with me,

Throughout our first year of marriage, it has become more and more clear that there exists a kind of quasi-prejudice against women who marry out of college. It’s not so strong that it keeps us from getting work (unless you want to be a nanny for that one lady’s kids, I guess) or that it infringes on any basic human rights, but it is enough to make me, and others like me, feel sort of dismissed.

I totally understood where she was coming from.  I'm finally at an age where the rest of my friends are starting to become engaged and some of them even have kids.  However, I soon found myself unable to attend events or was just at a different point in my life because I was married.  Basically I wasn't heading to Kollege Klub to get wasted and pick up a football player.
Being in the military kind of created more of a safe space for those who are young and married.  It was a quality of military life that I really appreciated but when you return to "civilian" life, it does become very apparent how young you are and how other people your age are getting wasted chocolate wasted.

Christy from Avoiding Atrophy also introduced in that same post, a different author named Lauren Ambler, who wrote a post called I Married Young and I'm Ashamed of It.  It was one of those articles that resonates with you because it is that offensive.  To sum it up here's a tidbit from her post:

In fact, our marriage is largely a secret. I’m desperately afraid I’ll be lumped in with other child brides: chastity ball pledges, Mrs. degree recipients, aspiring housewives, shotgun wives and wedding attention seekers. I’m keenly self-righteous in my girl power. I have a college degree and no particular passion for gift registry small appliances (I’ll struggle on without a stand mixer and a wok, thank you very much).

I could understand Lauren's concerns with marriage at a young age, however, her post quickly hit a downward spiral and every aspect of her article caused me to wonder about her husband.  If I was her life partner, I would have been so humiliated to read that article, especially since it is dripping with her dislike of the sanctity of marriage.  Essentially they're openly dating but got married because of his visa.  So instead of saying we're openly dating because of these circumstances, she belittles people's choices to get married.  I was born outside of the United States and I definitely have some understanding of how marriage can be a large influencing factor when your partner isn't a U.S. citizen.  I didn't want to judge her because so many young couples have those moments where they feel really concerned about getting married young but I also identify as a feminist and she does everything in which a feminist would not do in this situation.

Marriage to me is a hangdog word of household drudgery and sexual captivity or the first chapter of divorce. It is also supposedly sacred to conservatives and all things the right wing holds holy -- school prayer, sexual ignorance, tyranny over ovaries -- I don’t want anything to do with it. That notion of marriage is far too serious, weighing down relationships with a religious and legal burden of “specialness.” 

I feel like this was such a slap in her partner's face.  Maybe her husband wasn't offended by this but in my opinion, I honestly felt like she was feeding into the concerns of other people, instead of focusing on her own marriage.  She belittled every other young marriage, besides her own, and proclaimed to her friends that they can still do drugs around them.  She got married for convenience, and people do that (totally understand), but we are still going through issues of equality in marriage and for her to belittle the existence of an opportunity to get married was definitely NOT okay by me.  The comments to that article definitely ripped her a new one, but my favorite said:

22 is not a child bride. I was married at 20. Still not a child bride. If you love this guy what is there to be ashamed of? For me, I really believe that feminism is freedom OF choice. To be married, or not. To work or not. The list goes on.
Yes, I struggled with the idea of marriage on the basis that people that I loved and cared about that happen to love someone of their own gender couldn't get married. But ultimately, it was about my husband and I. And what we wanted. And that is ok. And my marriage doesn't stop me from supporting those people - at all. It is a matter of perspective.
Don't get me wrong, marriage is hard work, particularly when you have been with someone from age 18 and all the change that involves. But the good days? When you are together and facing the world? Amazing.
And ultimately? A marriage is what YOU make of it. Everyone has different definition, based on THEIR experiences. But you can, and will, work out the worth/value of your marriage on the basis of your experiences - and that is fantastic. The way it should be.

 I could not have said it better.  When Ryan proposed to me, everyone had an opinion.  Whether it was a friend of my mom's, the boyfriend of a best-friend, or my sorority sisters, everyone had something to say.  Usually it was along the lines of me being pregnant, which I wasn't and it was also hilarious, since I worked for a sexual health organization and knew everything you could know about birth control.  That experience really put into perspective how I thought about people that I once respected.  People thought I was pregnant and getting married because of that, which couples do that but for me, I know I would not have done that.  The mom of one of my best-friends actually corrected people who were saying things like that.  It was awesome to have people supporting us but people also have a knack of inserting their opinion even if they don't realize it.  I got a lot of, "I could never get married at this age" and if people were willing to say that in passing conversation, I can only imagine what they were willing to say behind my back.  Even though I was and still am young, I made the conscious decision to get married.  I know that can bring up a lot of red flags for people, especially since the divorce rate in the country and in the military is so high.  At the time, I was balancing being completely independent, in ROTC (aka military training), working three jobs, and earning my college degree.  I may have been bold and a little presumptuous, but it's safe to say that I could handle myself better than many young college kids.  Not everyone understood or had the same type of responsibilities that I had at the time.  Now that's not to put myself on a pedestal because that shit was hard, but it did create certain opportunities for me to grow that others may not have gotten at the time.  When Ryan proposed to me, I knew that he was the one that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with.  I loved how Christy covered this:

Where I differ most with Ambler, apart from the fact that I totally disagree on her stance that marriage should be open, is when she calls herself a “child bride”. This is the thing that we millenials are constantly criticized for: that we prolong our childhood in a way that makes us helpless even at an age where we should be considered adults. I am not a child. My married friends of the same age are, by no means, children. We are adults who have made a choice, and we are sticking by it.

I know there is a recommended path in life but Ryan and I didn't take that.  Not everyone should follow the path we took but some people are meant to find their person at a young age and some people are meant to be awesome single parents or CEO's of major companies without ever getting married.  All of these routes in life are okay and are filled with blessings.  I still graduated from college, I'm in a Masters program right now, we have a two-story house, we have two dogs, we have two cars, and we have a really great life.  Is my marriage challenging at times? Absolutely but it's caused me to respect and value all sorts of relationships and it has helped me mature as a person.  There are definitely times when an engagement is announced and I think, hmm that might not be a good idea.  But then I think about how people treated me and Ryan and instead of judging that couple, I usually pray for them because they love each other and all they need right now is good energy heading their way.  Marriage isn't for everyone, especially getting married young, however Ryan and I are in our third year of marriage and it has been awesome =] 

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Creating a Pinterest Extraordinaire Partner

Through a sweaty battle with the stair climber, I read Glennon's words on how she chose to communicate for effectively with her spouse Craig and it got me to thinking- am I communicating effectively with my partner? 

In Glennon's case, it was her birthday and as she lay in bed with anticipation for the day's excitement, it quickly dawned on her that the heaps of balloons and birthday cake were not happening.  She soon became upset and called her husband to scratch that day as her birthday and start all over again the next...kind of like a re-do.  When I first read that, I thought, "wow that sounds bratty." I mean, the world still turns regardless if it's your birthday or not.  However, Glennon took the time to explain to her husband how she grew up celebrating special occasions like birthdays.  Like me, Glennon takes birthdays and holidays seriously.  It's a time for celebration, but unlike Glennon, if the balloons and cake were forgotton, I would have normally let it slide. 

My spouse, Ryan, is not a romantic guy.  That very sentence is uttered so much in my life, it's kind of become a marriage slogan.  But it's true.  He's not a romantic guy and he also didn't grow up celebrating the way that I did.  I LOVE to throw themed parties.  I'm a details kind of gal, so any opportunity in which I can gather friends and stick them in themed sweaters is a good time to me.  However, Ryan never really grew up like that.  This would come to play in several scenarios in our young marriage.  You may have even read about our 2nd wedding anniversary fiasco.  I was so irate with him for eating our anniversary dinner without me that I walked up the stairs and cried for a little bit.  For some it may sound silly, but waves of disappointment came over me.  So when I read that chapter in Glennon's book, I realized that she may be onto something.

My spouse is not a mind reader.  I can't possibly put that expectation on him because it's too big of a burden.  He is however a kind and thoughtful man who loves me.  Ryan is always the first to admit that he appreciates some direction in surprising me or putting together an event.  So in Glennon's chapter when she lays out her expectations, as silly as it may have sounded to the reader, made a lot of sense to her husband and also to me.  The fact of the matter is that you can't expect flowers, candles, cake, and balloons if you don't express that.  My husband isn't going to magically turn into Pinterest husband extraordinaire overnight or on his own.  It forced me to reflect on all of the times that I've created high expectations for him without any guidance or direction.  Like when I was disappointed with Christmas because we weren't with family that year.  If I can't communicate that with him and figure out ways to combat sadness or disappointment, imagine how he feels.  He's also disappointed because he doesn't want me to be upset and then he feels like he has failed me.  All saddening emotions that could have been avoided through better communication.

Have you ever gone through this with your partner?  What things did you find most effective in helping build your communication?

My anniversary is coming up

Our second year anniversary is rapidly approaching and if you don't know I have a mad love the Ellen DeGeneres Show.  Neil Patrick Harris, one of my favorite actors, was recently on and shared his 40th birthday experience, albeit a few months early.

  The gears in my head started to turn and all the creative juices started working. Originally Ryan and I were happy with settling for dinner at home and we're doing a joint gift of getting a new TV, but it definitely doesn't hurt to be a little creative with love. Our budget is pretty tight with paying car loans and my students loans, but I think it's a welcome challenge to work with a budget.  I could put together a scavenger hunt but I also don't have a ton of cash.  Any ideas?

For those who are married or dating, what did you do to celebrate your second anniversary or any anniversary?

250 Words

Story of My Life's first challenge: "the story of your life in 250 words or less" (a very brief auto-biography).  

This is going into way more than 250...I apologize in advance.

I'm the blonde-looking child and that's my cousin, who I just placed a block on because we enjoyed nudity in our youth...hey it was always scorching hot outside!

I was born in the Philippines and grew up as part of a rather large Navy family.  

My mom came from a large family and so I have several aunts, uncles, and cousins who still live there.  My mom worked in a bar/restaurant owned by family friends who were practically family and it was located very close to a U.S. Naval base (my memory wavers but it could have actually been on the base).  My mom met a sailor with a son and ended up becoming a nanny for him.  The sailor and my mom ended up falling in love and eventually had me.  This is a tough part of my history because that man was unfaithful to my mother and he left for the U.S. without her.  Over time my mom met another man, named Jim, and married him.  Although he's technically my step-dad, he's always been dad to me.  We lived in Southern California for several years and moved back to Wisconsin so my father could pursue employment by his family.  I spent most of my life in Wisconsin and am a proud Sconnie.  My brother Jimmy was born when I was 8 and we ended up moving several times, all within the same city.  I have so many fond memories of different families back there and of different school programs.  My favorites come from a charter school that I attended from 6th to 8th grade.  One of my best-friends that I met during Middle School is getting married this summer and I can't wait to see her!  During high school I was one of the captains for my swim team and spent a total of 10 years competitively swimming.  Looking back, I wished I had taken it more seriously because I had a lot of talent and wasted it by loathing practices.  Also in high school, I was part of your yearbook program which competed nationally.  That's where my love for design and journalism blossomed.  It was further cultivated in DECA and our Advanced Marketing program.  

I was nervous about getting into a good school but after ramping up my resume, I had nothing to worry about. I got into 11 different universities and was going to attend the University of Central Florida but after representing Wisconsin at DECA Internationals, I changed my mind.  I called my dad up and told him I wanted to go to Wisconsin and he was so excited, especially since he's a Wisconsin alum.  He drove up to Madison the next day and changed over all of my paperwork.  That's just one of many reasons that I absolutely adore my dad.  I attended UW-Madison and it's one of the greatest experiences of my life.  I can only look back on fond memories or ones that taught me so much.  I'm a Theta and I did the recruitment process, all while balancing the last part of try-outs for the Wisconsin Band.  Love the band, but boy howdy was that rigorous.  I didn't make the band, percussion killed my legs, but I did get a bid from Theta and it was a wonderful experience.  I did several jobs while I was there, including being a tour guide, event coordinator for Sex Out Loud, and a House Fellow for Sellery.  These were the best jobs ever and I miss them so much.  Being a tour guide helped shape my public presentation skills and I met so many awesome people.  Sex Out Loud is an organization at UW that does peer-to-peer sexual health education and advocacy.  That job taught me so much about the necessity for sexual health education and how drastically different the education process is for different school systems.  We got the results of that with incoming college freshmen.  A lot of my beliefs come from those experiences.  I was a House Fellow or RA for one of the rambunctious dorms at Wisconsin.  It taught me a lot about being a role model, multi-tasking, patience, time management, and how I would like to raise my future kids.  I also joined the Air Force ROTC program after my freshman year and then a few years later became an officer.

I also got married while I was in college to my best-friend, Ryan.  I have discussed so many aspects of the joys and issues that came with this in previous posts and I'm sure I'll keep on talking about it in the future.  I moved to Southern California twice (each summer), where Ryan was stationed for the Marine Corps.  I then moved to Central Coast California, where I was stationed for training and now to Montana where we live with our two German Shepherds.  There's so much I can go into about certain elements of my life, but I'm just excited to have the opportunity to be a part of this challenge.

     

Ryan's Birthday Shenanigans

Omg does this not remind you of Gatsby? I lurve to design graphics :)

My wonderful husband had his birthday last week and it's his first one back in the states.  Last year he spent his 21st in Afghanistan, so I tried my best to make it a little bit more special.  That's easier said than done with two very different schedules, but we were fortunate to have it all work and enjoy dinner out together.  My favorite was being able to snuggle up on the couch and watch my favorite movie, Django Unchained and also watch for the first time, Gangster's Squad.  

 Beer tasting kit that was available at Target! So much fun!

 Beer Coasters

 Hand-painted present bags

 

I put different presents in each bag that I made, include a copy of Django Unchained.

How do you like to celebrate your significant others' birthday?

Extreme Easter: Kim vs. Ryan PART II

Of course, right after I posted the start to the basket for Ryan, he started working on mine.

By "working," he left it on the table for me to see.

#failsauce

But he also became frustrated because he doesn't consider himself to be very creative.

My husband is not a creative nor romantic man, so for him to go along with my idea of making each other Easter baskets was a stretch but he was such a good sport.

If you saw my post yesterday, I showed how I chose to pack the basket but I wasn't quite done just yet.  After Ryan became frustrated, he just handed me my basket and the basket I was making him wasn't quite finished.

 I decided to fill the eggs with fun relationship "coupons" and compliments.

Want some fries with that shake? In case you didn't know, I like your butt.

 Yup, I've got all the moves ;)

 I made them rather large and just cut them into strips, like Easter fortune cookies eggs.

 Rolled them up and stuck them inside the plastic eggs that I just love :)

 Holly and Blu "helped" with the basket.  More like Blu kept trying to take the egg fortunes.

 The final product!  Three chocolate bunnies, 12-gauge shell coasters, Skyfall, Argo, stuffed animal bunny, plastic eggs, Reese's pieces carrots and a lot of paper grass.

I loved tucking the carrots into the grass to make them more authentic.

 Don't let that furrowed brow confuse you, he loved it.  Here he is busy reading the egg fortunes.

 Now the moment you've all been waiting for...

the basket Ryan made! =]

 I walked into the kitchen and saw this guy chillen in a bright colored basket.

It's a hamster in a chick costume.

It dances and raps...

 

Slightly blurry but it was gettin' its groove on.

Definitely not my usual stuffed animal but it's silly and fun.  Ryan also got me pepper spray and a knife.  I've been wanting a knife for awhile now so I was pretty excited to receive one and also got a lesson on how to properly apply pepper spray.

In other news, I've been busy e-mailing the next series of hosts for the Blogger Book Swap.

I am so excited about this and we're thrilled for the opportunity to put together a quality swap.

To get the anticipation going, our theme is:

 Preview to Summer 

It's going to be great and we're also featuring weekly link-ups to make the most out of your experience and why you all love to read!

We're searching for bloggers with a love of reading, books, blogging and a knack for fun.

If you think you would be a great fit, be sure to check back for the registration form in the very near future.  My co-hosts are incredible bloggers who are just kick-ass women.  

I am soooo excited for this!

Thanks for Reading!