Tuesday, August 7, 2012

Self-check on my privileges

“I admit it's tempting to wish for the perfect boss - the perfect parent - or the perfect outfit. But maybe the best any of us can do is not quit, play the hand we've been dealt, and accessorize what we've got.
-Carrie (Sex & the City)”

Do you ever get moments of just straight selfishness?  I still do and usually the green eyed beaut unleashes her head at the most inconvenient of times.  Being young and starting to pay off loans from college is difficult but add being unemployed until the Air Force needs me and it becomes obnoxious.  Being married to a great guy who is a saint, and sometimes I just feel straight up bad about being a foolish girl.     

I'm still working on my maturity levels and recognizing my privileges.  It's something I work on daily.  One of the reasons I married my husband is because of his awesome personality.  He makes sure that everyone else's needs are put above his own.  It's always something I look up to. 

I recognize that I have issues with instant gratification.  Why can't I be content with what I have instead of obsessing over what I want?  There was a point today where I was irritated at the thought of budgeting for fall/winter sweaters.  Did I just really become annoyed at the thought of not being able to buy Essie or OPI nail polish?  Like really, Kim? Or what about my PInterest wedding board.  I had the audacity to ask my husband when he thinks we could afford our vow renewal.  The look on Ryan's face was heartbreaking.  I knew I crossed a line and I so badly wished I could take back the question.  With student loans and car payments, a vow renewal is realistically way far in the distance.  All I did was make him feel bad.

I've got to appreciate my blessings and enjoy what I do have because I have a pretty awesome life.  When do we focus solely on the things aren't going our way when we should be focusing on everything that has brought us to this great point in life?

I've got a husband who goes out of his way to make me happy.   
I've got a family back in Wisconsin that loves and supports me.  Not just one family, but a whole new family that has welcomed me with open arms.
I can get a 99.9 on an Air Force PFA and I'm actually that close to max-ing, meaning that not only am I fit but I physically am capable of pushing myself to meet my fitness goals.  
I have food in my refrigerator and the ability to make dinner for my family every night.
I have a job and the capability of paying back my school loans.
I have an adorable puppy who is just super wonderful.

I am incredibly blessed and it shouldn't take some obnoxious moment of "wanting" to make me realize that.


  1. Bravo! Loved this post! I admit I have those moments of selfishness too - but I think that's human ;) What makes the difference is the ability to step back and see how blessed we truly are! There are so many people out there who just can't see the value in the important "free" things in life.

    1. Thanks Lindsey :)
      Last night, I felt like the epitome of a schmuckster and just had to let it all out. It was just one of those moments where I was just questioning why I was so adamant about wanting instead of simply appreciating.